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What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

14.06.2025 07:08

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What! how could you do that?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

How do professional musicians handle their equipment during gigs? Do they bring their own or use the venue's sound system?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Do you know what she said mum?

Answer me this. These days guys love anal sex right, if you present them with your ass they will happily nail you into the ground. So why do some guys think it's "sissy" to let women stick a finger up their ass?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What do you mean son?

What is the most sentimental item you inherited from someone dear to you and what does it mean to you?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

True - how I loved my mum!

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Has a cop ever said something to you which was completely unexpected?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

How do you know how physically attractive you actually are?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”